So we eat even when we aren’t hungry so we can grow to be dogs she can lay on and snuggle with.

An then she goes and gets her nails done and meets Miles. Miles is six weeks old. He’s a miniature chihuahua puppy, and she has fallen in love with the idea of him because she could put him in her pocket.

Not only am I feeling fat and furry today, I am feeling mightily betrayed.

Mommis had better get over this. We just got done accepting Monte Carlo-Python-Cello-Zuma the pit bull puppy that lives with us now, and Mommis has fallen in love again?

I’m beginning to think Mommis is promiscuous. Probably not a word a dog can get away with using, but we live in a house with a big library of books, and I have eaten a great many of them.

I can’t understand why Mommis isn’t praising me. I turned over the garbage and sorted it all by myself when she was at Pilates this morning. Do you think that was easy? First I had to step on it exactly the right way, and then, when it hit the floor, the big sort began. I spread it out carefully so everything was visible for her.

But when she came home, she yelled “No, no no,” which I’ve learned means something bad, although I don’t know what.

Then that AKer Paunnie ran up to her and leaned against her thigh. “I didn’t do it, I didn’t do it,” he told her. And she believed him, although of course after I started it, he nosed through it, too.

But she loves him more than me. She calls him Main Man.

So I’m going out on the back deck, and I’m going to lay low. Even though it’s wet out there.

She’ll get over it. I’m cute. But I have to leave her alone for a while.

Mommis gave us dinner and then went out to the Social Media Club. I got bored, and I remembered the rolls of toidy paper. So I went and got one and tore it in little pieces. That was big fun, so I got another one, and another, and another.

It was pretty tiring doing all the work of tearing up all those rolls, so at the end of it I just laid down on the kitchen table to wait for Mommis.

When she came home, she was silently furious. I know she was, because she had to get on her hands and knees and crawl around the floor to pick everything up. I tp’ed the whole living room.

I just stood on the table and watched. Not much I could do on this end.

I think I’m a little thirsty, too.

I charmed her. When she came to the door, Paunnie and I barked, but then I stopped and laid down by mom’s feet as soon as she came into the house. So did Paunnie. We faked being well-behaved, and the woman fell for it. She loved us!! She even petted us. We shedded all over her blue uniform.

So then mom asked her what we did wrong. She said there was an ordinance that neighbors were entitled not to be disturbed, She said it was an ordinance, not a law, and the worst that could happen to us was that animal control could come out and cite us. But we couldn’t be taken away or anything.

The blue woman then apologized for the fact that we had grumpy neighbors.

Mom always yells at us when we bark. Now I know why.

I decided it might be fun to participate in social media, since my mom spends all day at the computer blogging away and Twittering to her friends. I thought about getting a Facebook Account, but then I thought I’d just start with a plain old blog. She told me it was the old technology and had already peaked, but I am new to it, and perhaps it means the technology has crossed the chasm. I always heard that on the Internet no one knows you are a dog.