Posted in golden+retriever

Mommis’s Strange Toy

So do you know what this thing on the floor is? Mommis wears it under her clothes. And when she’s done with it for the day she puts it in a basket in her closet. And then Olivia puts it in the big machine with the water that goes around and then out of the house into the garden. And then it comes back to a shelf in Mommis’ closet until she puts it on again and throws it in the basket. It’s some game Mommis plays. Maybe she gets points for throwing it in the basket, like when Paunnie fetches.

I think it’s fun to get this thing out of the basket when Mommis forgets to close the closet door. Me and Bluey were lonely while Mommis went to yoga (Paunnie was sleeping), so I went and got it out of the basket.

Only Bluey wanted it too, and he pulled on one end while I pulled on the other, and now it doesn’t look like it did. So we left it on the floor. When Mommis came in, Bluey looked all innocent, and I got the blame. But then he picked it up once more, and she caught him!!!!!
Good thing, too.
That Bluey gets away with murder. It’s about time
karma caught up with him.

Posted in "Half Moon Bay Brewing Company", dog, golden+retriever

She’s Home!

See that dog under the table? That’s my cousin Bo. You know where he is? The Half Moon Bay Brewing Company for the great Sunday afternoon blues. And where am I? In Phoenix in my backyard by my baby self, amusing myself by spreading toidy paper from one end of the house to the other.

Yeah, she came back yesterday. But I have to tell you, it took an hour of hard work to clean her up after her trip. I had to lick her arms, her left leg, and all of her face, even her ear. She was just so covered with smells from other dogs.

I am so happy to see her, though, that the work was worth it. And it paid off. This morning she took us for a walk through the neighborhood for a half hour and we got to see a lot of new houses and dogs. And kids going to school, who always love me.

Posted in Uncategorized

Social Media Club SF

Social Media Club SF
Originally uploaded by hardaway

Mommis is gone. I think this is where she is. If it isn’t where she is, then is it something I should eat? It’s paper. I eat paper. Maybe if I eat it, she will come home. The other night we ate the salmon out of the garbage and right after that, she left. Probably the salmon wasn’t the right thing to eat. But this piece of paper, it looks like an appropriate snack.

Come home Mommis. We know Josh is here, but we miss you.

Posted in golden retriever

Sunday in the Dog Park

It finally cooled off here, and Mommis took us to the dog park.  Paunnie tries to get me to play with him there, but I ignore him because I can always see him at home. At the park, I like to meet new peeps.

 I love it there, because there’s this Irish setter who I can run with. There are also a couple of thug Boxers who like to mess with me, but I charm them with my karmic demeanor. And of course there are a bunch of goldens and great Danes.

I’ve been a bit under the weather lately, because I ate a whole loaf of 12 grain bread on Thursday and it gave me gas. I left over the plastic wrapper, so I thought I’d be okay, but maybe it was the fiber that got to me. You should have seen what Mommis had to pick up in the dog park. But I’m okay now.

On second thought, maybe I’m just dehydrated from eating all the toidy paper.
Posted in francine+hardaway, golden+retriever, puppy, social+media+club

Powerless against my Addiction

Help, me Puppygods. I am powerless against this new addiction to rolls of toidy paper. Today Olivia came and cleaned the whole house. While she was here, I noticed that she was getting a roll of toidy paper out of the bathroom cabinet, and that there was a big bunch of rolls in a plastic bag. Mommis must’ve got them at Costco. They weren’t there last week.

Mommis gave us dinner and then went out to the Social Media Club. I got bored, and I remembered the rolls of toidy paper. So I went and got one and tore it in little pieces. That was big fun, so I got another one, and another, and another.

It was pretty tiring doing all the work of tearing up all those rolls, so at the end of it I just laid down on the kitchen table to wait for Mommis.

When she came home, she was silently furious. I know she was, because she had to get on her hands and knees and crawl around the floor to pick everything up. I tp’ed the whole living room.

I just stood on the table and watched. Not much I could do on this end.

I think I’m a little thirsty, too.

Posted in Uncategorized


Mommis said if I do this again, she will send me to rehab. I explained to her that I have abandoned my addiction to Bluetooth headsets, and that this is a somewhat healthy addiction, in that paper doesn’t taste very good, but isn’t poisonous.

She didn’t buy any of it. She said she should be able to go out for one hour without coming home to wreckage.
Oh, maybe she was terse because this morning I jumped into the lake on the Biltmore Golf course and wet her car on the way home. She said the guy at the car wash asked her what kind of dog she had and she replied, “dirty.”
Posted in golden+retriever

Will I Be Pardoned Like Nixon, or Commuted Like Scooter Libby?

I think I did a lotta things wrong today. Mommis was really mad. You judge.

When we went for our walk, I got a little warm, so I jumped into the lake at Indian School Park and went swimming.  Only thing was, it was too close to 8 AM and I think the Parks Department people saw me. That will make them mad at Mommis.
And then I was all wet when I came into the house, and tracked it up really good.  Also I had a really expensive bath about two days ago, and now I smell like irrigation water instead of almond shampoo.
That wasn’t too bad. Bluey didn’t mind how I smelled.  He came over and visited us and we played with our new temporary toys from Costco.  We have them until Dan orders the Kong balls from, which takes forever to deliver. So Mommis got the temporary toys. I like them.
But when Mommis went out to dinner I got bored. I just wanted to see if the toidy paper would follow me through the house, so I took one end in my teeth.  Sure enough! It did.  Almost into the living room. That was the close bathroom, so I thought I’d experiment with the far bathroom. That toidy paper went a lo-o-o-ng way toward the living room: down the whole corridor!!!!
And then Mommis was reading this book she didn’t like, so I thought I would take care of it for her. I chewed it into a bunch of little pieces, and now she doesn’t have to finish it.
Why is she mad at me?  I was just trying to help…When she came home she was just yelling NO, NO, NO all over the place.  Does she mean me? I love her.