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Mommis said if I do this again, she will send me to rehab. I explained to her that I have abandoned my addiction to Bluetooth headsets, and that this is a somewhat healthy addiction, in that paper doesn’t taste very good, but isn’t poisonous.

She didn’t buy any of it. She said she should be able to go out for one hour without coming home to wreckage.
Oh, maybe she was terse because this morning I jumped into the lake on the Biltmore Golf course and wet her car on the way home. She said the guy at the car wash asked her what kind of dog she had and she replied, “dirty.”

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