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In Which Uncle Nell’s Phone Disappears

Dear Uncle Nell,

I’m getting the feeling that you are my competition for Auntie Belle. She has been visiting Mommis this holiday, and we have been having a wonderful time. But every once in a while she gets this sad, far off look in her eye. I wondered how she could have that when she was with us all the time, so I started sniffing around.
And that’s how I found your phone.  I just knew it was yours, and that she loves YOU, not me:-(
So last night I carried it out to the banquette by the bay window, thinking she would never find it and she would forget you. But Mommis guessed that it was me, and they know I sleep in the banquette, so they found it and took it back.
But today, when Auntie Belle got in the shower, I sneaked into her room and took it again. And this time I carried it into the back yard. I have this great hole that I’m digging in the back yard, all the way to China.
In the meantime, it got dark. But when Auntie Belle got out of the shower, she realized it was gone, and ran around the house looking for it. When she couldn’t see it, she started calling it. And then she couldn’t hear it, so she sent mommis out into the back yard.
Mommis couldn’t see anything,so she had to come back in and get the big flashlight while Auntie Belle got dressed.
Then Auntie Belle and Mommis both heard the phone in the yard, but they couldn’t see it. Auntie Belle said, “it sounds like it is coming from here, but I don’t see anything.” And then Mommis spilled the beans and said that was my hole to China.
So Auntie Belle started digging while Mommis held the flashlight. And she unearthed (yes, a bad pun) your phone.
So now I am in the dog house. Auntie Belle is madly cleaning up your phone.
You win dude!
Love, B.Q. Puppis-Woo
Posted in Uncategorized

Train Me? Why?

In my mature years, I’ve become known as Zen Dog or the Saunterer. I don’t fetch, I only run short distances, and I only wrestle with Sammy. So it boggles my mind why Mommis has decided NOW is the time to train me.

She hired this trainer, JonnyBGood, for Sammy. He put a collar around Sammy’s neck that vibrates when Mommis hits a remote control. The vibration gets Sammy’s attention. She wears the remote around her neck, and every time she issues a command — and she issues a lot of them — she presses the button on the remote and vibrates Sammy. I actually think this will work for him; he is already riding in the back seat of the car, which he never did before, and he has stopped acting like a scarf around Mommis’ neck when she drives.

But the other day I had a real shock (no pun intended). It seems that Mommis thinks she can stop me from running after cats and not following her at the park by putting the collar on ME!.

The command I’m supposed to learn is “Buppy Come.” Of course I already know this. I just feel like it’s a matter of personal choice whether I come immediately or five minutes later, after I’m through investigating what was left on the grill in the park or what’s in the overflowing garbage after the weekend picnics.

But that damned vibration is so annoying that after a while it’s less trouble to come than to assert my individuality. Oh, and I’ve gained 8 pounds, so I guess I shouldn’t be eating that leftover pizza and fries anyway. I’ve never weighed 80 before in my life, and Mommis really wants me to diet. She thinks it will improve my energy.

Good luck, Mommis.

Jonny Training Sammy