Leeloo is my girlfriend. At first I thought she was my litter mate, but I guess I was wrong. Every morning I try to rape her, but she never lets me. And then we wrestle. We’ve slept together twice in the same crate, but nothing happened. I don’t understand why, but nothing did. We didn’t get a puppy. Then she went off and got her service dog certification before me. A real betrayal.
She’s leaving me for six weeks soon. This would be, as you might expect, a big bummer for me, but I’m a dog and I live in the present.