So this morning in the park all the dogs were there, so we tried to get them all in a down for a photo shoot. I do down very well ( although not so well at “sit”) and Sammy is awesome at down. So notice who is down for the shoot. Yes, Team Hardaway, a.k.a. The Blue Man Group (for our blue rave collars) Jack is at least in a sit, Xena is running toward the photographer, Amy’s down, the Bernese Mountain Jack is in a down, Moby is walking around, and Lady Leeloo seems to be unconcerned. How come WE always have to obey Mommis?
Leeloo is my girlfriend. At first I thought she was my litter mate, but I guess I was wrong. Every morning I try to rape her, but she never lets me. And then we wrestle. We’ve slept together twice in the same crate, but nothing happened. I don’t understand why, but nothing did. We didn’t get a puppy. Then she went off and got her service dog certification before me. A real betrayal.
She’s leaving me for six weeks soon. This would be, as you might expect, a big bummer for me, but I’m a dog and I live in the present.
When he comes to the park, he plays with all of us very hard, and I know he loves us. We wish he would come more often. I think he loves Mommis, but I don’t mind, because I love him. He’s a very good boy. He has lots of energy, though. And I think he’s a little more low to the ground than me or Leeloo, because he doesn’t topple over as much as we do. Maybe it’s just ’cause he’s older?
Xena is a girl who thinks she is a boy. That’s partly because she belongs to Sharon, who’s a badass competitive weightlifter. Xena is part Bernese mountain dog and part Rottweiler I think, with a little something else thrown in. She takes no shit from the puppy pack (that’s me and Leeloo); she’ll jump right on us. She also lifts her leg when she pees, which even I don’t do yet.
I hardly ever get to be alone with LeeLoo anymore. Gage is always watching us and he’s so big and strong. He’s a whole month older.
OH, and I made Mommis sad yesterday. I pooped on a rug in the hall and peed on the floor in the living room an hour after Olivia mopped it. I know I shouldn’t do this stuff because then Mommis tells Uncle Max that she feels like a failure. Uncle Max tells her I’m young. Am I still young? What’s young? Does it mean my peepee leaks?
Maybe the vet can fix that!