Mommis is hanging around with a new animal called a Shark. Me and Trina are trying to hide in Uncle Max’s room so it doesn’t get us but it keeps following us.
It makes a terrible loud noise and sucks up everything I was planning to pick up and eat myself. It’s eating all of our snacks.Mommis didn’t use to pal around with noisy animals. In fact, when we’re noisy she makes us be quiet. So how come this Shark gets special rules?
And weve had Wrestlemania ever since! I’m so happy to have another retriever in the house! He lives in Half Moon Bay!
I denied it, but she didn’t believe me. I did eat the warranty from her new Snapchat spectacles. It fell on the floor and like there was. I couldn’t resist.
So I walk into the kitchen this morning, and there is Bruce on top of the garbage. This is a terrible state of affairs for lots of reasons. First of all, how did he get there? Did he jump off the counter and land there? Second, how can I get into the garbage and find out if there’s anything good in there. If I put my paw on the thing on the bottom, the lid will open and Bruce will fly through the air. We discussed a plan, but came to no conclusions.I left for my walk with Mommis, who didn’t seem upset; she just took a couple of pictures.
And when I got back he wasn’t there anymore. Mysterious. A ghost? It’s Halloween.
my brother Sammy is a pain in the tail. Literally. I am sort of a mellow guy, but Sammy is a whack job. Playing with him always gets me into more trouble than it’s worth. But even when I lay down, and show him I’m done, he doesn’t stop.
And Mommis thinks it’s funny. I don’t think she has owned a philosophical dog before.
I have a new friend named Zoe. She’s a rottie and I went to her house for a play date this morning because we now have to walk on leashes in the park.
Yeah, we got busted by the same cop who always busts Mommis, even though the complaints are never about us. This time we think they were about Amy. Really they’re about a silly law.
But back to the good part: Zoe has something called a pool, which is a lot of water with steps going in. The water tastes funny when you drink it. Mommis walked into it with all her clothes on and when she said “come” I tried to follow her but something happened and all my legs went in different directions. Luckily Mommis held me underneath, because I was scared and wanted to run out.
I did run out, but then Zoe went in and a woman threw a ball. Zoe went after it and I watched how she moved her feet.So I tried the same thing, walking down the steps and moving my feet. And suddenly I was swimming AND fetching! It was so fun!
Also I was two shades whiter when I got out.
Leeloo is my girlfriend. At first I thought she was my litter mate, but I guess I was wrong. Every morning I try to rape her, but she never lets me. And then we wrestle. We’ve slept together twice in the same crate, but nothing happened. I don’t understand why, but nothing did. We didn’t get a puppy. Then she went off and got her service dog certification before me. A real betrayal.
She’s leaving me for six weeks soon. This would be, as you might expect, a big bummer for me, but I’m a dog and I live in the present.