Mommis did a great job on my Canine Good Citizen test. She didn’t confuse me at all and we passed. It was hard work though.
I had such a big day that I barfed at her ASU class with my vest on. I think it was the three Crimini mushrooms that I ate off the floor at Sprouts that morning. Or maybe it was stress. A nice man in her class cleaned it up before I could re-eat it, which I was going to do for her.
Leeloo is my girlfriend. At first I thought she was my litter mate, but I guess I was wrong. Every morning I try to rape her, but she never lets me. And then we wrestle. We’ve slept together twice in the same crate, but nothing happened. I don’t understand why, but nothing did. We didn’t get a puppy. Then she went off and got her service dog certification before me. A real betrayal.
She’s leaving me for six weeks soon. This would be, as you might expect, a big bummer for me, but I’m a dog and I live in the present.
We’re cheating here. Taylor is only visiting for ten days while Auntie Chelsea is in London watching Dashie. He’s not a dawn dog in Half Moon Bay where he lives. But he has to be one in Phoenix. He flew here with Auntie Chelsea and her boyfriend Brian and we met them at the airport. He flies here a lot. I think he’s my cousin. He’s a great role model.
When he comes to the park, he plays with all of us very hard, and I know he loves us. We wish he would come more often. I think he loves Mommis, but I don’t mind, because I love him. He’s a very good boy. He has lots of energy, though. And I think he’s a little more low to the ground than me or Leeloo, because he doesn’t topple over as much as we do. Maybe it’s just ’cause he’s older?
Xena is a girl who thinks she is a boy. That’s partly because she belongs to Sharon, who’s a badass competitive weightlifter. Xena is part Bernese mountain dog and part Rottweiler I think, with a little something else thrown in. She takes no shit from the puppy pack (that’s me and Leeloo); she’ll jump right on us. She also lifts her leg when she pees, which even I don’t do yet.