This is Jackson Dog. His mother’s name is Carol, and he is huge. Large and in charge. Very excited to see everyone all the time and a mountain of energy. He is three but I play with him every morning.
When he sees Mommis you can just see how badly he wants to jump up on her, but once she was holding his leash sitting down on a restaurant patio and he dragged her and her chair across the patio and dislocated her finger. That’s how strong he is.
So Aunt Carol has taught him that he cannot jump up on anyone and he has to curb his enthusiasm. We love him.
I denied it, but she didn’t believe me. I did eat the warranty from her new Snapchat spectacles. It fell on the floor and like there was. I couldn’t resist.
So I walk into the kitchen this morning, and there is Bruce on top of the garbage. This is a terrible state of affairs for lots of reasons. First of all, how did he get there? Did he jump off the counter and land there? Second, how can I get into the garbage and find out if there’s anything good in there. If I put my paw on the thing on the bottom, the lid will open and Bruce will fly through the air. We discussed a plan, but came to no conclusions.I left for my walk with Mommis, who didn’t seem upset; she just took a couple of pictures.
And when I got back he wasn’t there anymore. Mysterious. A ghost? It’s Halloween.
Gone, goddammit. Somewhere weird where the leaves change color and it gets very cold. Her Mommis is planning a wedding, which I don’t understand. All I know is she’s not at the park and I am bummed beyond belief.
While she’s gone, though, I’m going to grow. You’ll see. When she gets back I will be big.
Leeloo is my girlfriend. At first I thought she was my litter mate, but I guess I was wrong. Every morning I try to rape her, but she never lets me. And then we wrestle. We’ve slept together twice in the same crate, but nothing happened. I don’t understand why, but nothing did. We didn’t get a puppy. Then she went off and got her service dog certification before me. A real betrayal.
She’s leaving me for six weeks soon. This would be, as you might expect, a big bummer for me, but I’m a dog and I live in the present.